Hi Babies,
sooooo here is to a Stalker Free year in 2007!!.....
I was kinda hoping that 2006's stalker would remain there...but..umm.. no such luck.. another 10 calls tonight..arrrgh... now... i know of other folks that have had stalkers, but to me..mine is the creepiest.. i suppose everyone thinks their stalker is the creepiest... kinda like everyone thinks their baby is the cutest..it just goes with the territory......
why is he creepy??? ..well it has nothing to do with:
- him being shorter than me....and im only 5' tall
- him missing all of his front teeth
- him not speaking more than the teensyist bits of english
umm..no..i could deal with those bits...the part that makes him creepy is:
- he followed me home from CVS once... so he knows where i live
- he has my cell phone number (im reasonably certain he got it from my garage...thanks fellas)
a few nights ago he called again...... and i picked up (silly me i KNOW not to pick up calls marked Private or numbers i dont recognize!!!! arrrgh)
he basically said:
- he was on his way over.. and
- that he loved me... (just fucking great!)
I kinda freaked out..
i said in a very clear voice... DO NOT COME OVER HERE... DO NOT CALL ME
and hung up...few moments later one of my bitches called to tell me he was in a bubble bath and would catch up with me at a club later that night....and
- i told him about the the Stalker call...
- he sympathized...
- i felt better...
- we hung up ..
- i went back to applying my fake eyelashs....
And THEN.. there was somebody KNOCKING on my WINDOW!!!! no kidding..i freaked out!! my first thought was to call my bitch back... but i realized..
- he is the lightest fairy i know and would be virtually useless in a fight... except perhaps to run around dramatically with his hands in the air and squealing a high pitched girly scream... maybe... if he was reallly drunk he could scratch someone... or..drop a jumbo slice on them..but that was really gonna be the extent of his help..AND
- he was in a bubble bath alllllll the way out in fairfax... (just completely proving the points above) the BEST i could hope for from him was he could jump outta the bath..moisturize..and be at my place in time to find my body..
maybe i should call 911????? i thought as i huddled in the very very back of my place..... frozen with fear wearing only five inch heels, panties, and a johnny cash tshirt.... and alll i can think the whole time( i swear..this is what i was thinking! ) was "DAMN! How will they bury me in this t-shirt if he stabs me and it gets cut or bloody????"
then i got a text message from my date "Hey Im Early.. let me in!!"
jeeeez.... i ran to the door sooooo glad to have him there!!!!!
sooooo i reallly wasnt feeling like the empowered woman of the 21st century...more like the silly girl in heels and panties and one fake eyelash... you know the one that gets killed realllly fast in allllll the major horror flicks.. sooo....time for some changes!!! I'm fighting back!
2007... is just getting started... and ..welll.... im not planning to go out in the early scenes...soooo STALKER dude.....if you think you can handle it..in 2007..
BRING IT.. cause this year ... i feel like Stalker Free ... is for me...
xoxo
"She trips and dreams through cirrus skies
She rides the road to paradise
Her hard love heart lies lost in lust
Vicious Vixen, mission stardust"...... TKK
