Glamour Is A Rocky Road....

Excuse me... I think its Raining in here..

Note to friend whose work has been on my desk for wayyyyy tooo long… and must get done ASAP:

...edited...

which brings me to you!!
I was curled up on the sofa with a cup of tea … (naked..if you must know..no really.. i only say that cause it is integral to you getting the WHOLE pic) lol
soooo im curled up with a blanket and cup of tea to start reading in earnest..
got to scene 8…

water started pouring out of my ceiling light fixtures….
no shit..

grabbed some clothes…of course im ocd..so they had to match..so this toook wayyy longer than it should have...rrrgh…

ran upstairs to see if anyone was home…

nobody…

ran back downstairs...

I heard the elevator…turned..

Daddy Do was taking Baby Do for a walk ...

Daddy Do had to quickly unstrap Baby Do from his lil baby fanny pack thingy… (_{what the fuck are those things called)}

tossed Baby Do to me..
_{for real..im not making that shit up}

omg..im holding a teeeny human!!! no pressure..dont drop teeny  human -even if he wriggles

Baby Do giggled

Daddy Do shouted i should get a pan..
i shrugged my shoulders..umm i dont have a pan…

Daddy Do laughed hysterically and was off to get the emergency keys and began scouting for source of water…

after…turning off the main of course…

i bounced Baby Do around for bout half an hour til we discovered..

Mommy Do (why is everything always moms fault?) had been doing Baby Do’s laundry
& put in tooo much baby detergent…

the washer fought back the only way it knew how

vomited baby detergent everywhere…

and seems to be cause of my lil momentary indoor rain shower

.... now Daddy Do and Baby Do are off on their walk…

and i dont want to say that your work has caused the earth to shake… but it does apparently seem to have potential for an act of god

i had to start over...
....not leaving the house til im finished..

unless their is an actual act of god..

or if Baby Do asks me to..cause

he is sooooo damn cute i couldnt possibly say no..

not much chance of that though ..as i dont speak Baby Do
xoxo

10 hours later.....
.. umm.. i didnt finish.. there was an act of god..or .. as its also known as.. a shoe sale at Neiman Marcus... im gonna try to finish tonight...  in the meantime..i scored TWO new pairs of Miu Miu shoes..both of which are soo fing rock and roll....i cant stand it!!...oh dont worry i bought Baby Do a pair too.. not of miu miu silly.. a pair of cashmere HERMES booties..awwww...
xoxo

xoxo

Promiscuous Girl

Apparently i am easier than a Gay Crew Team...

text message conversation with Supreme Court Jr.

• SC JR: grrrr..  i'm on date with a cute boy tonight!!
• ME:  me too! a realll cutie...grrrrr

few days later

• SCjr: Second date..dinner and a movie...yeah!!
• ME:   Me too! last night ..he made me dinner @ my place.. we saw Borat
• SCjr: I met this one at #####..might be a keeper
• ME: ummm...mine rows crew!!
• SCjr: lol..he's a homo  (SCJr.. rows crew on a gay team)
• ME: damn... maybe my gaydar is down... come to think of it both movies we've seen (shortbus and Borat had a lot of nekid men in em)  maybe bi..he made me eggs
• SCJr.:for dinner?  hes def gay
• ME: no goof we had pasta for dinner!! ;-)
• SCJr.: damn you WIN Again!.. and they say gay guys are easy

sooo.. what do ya think??
maybe im too competitive...
xoxo

Insert Catchy Title Here...

Hi Kiddies..
sorry to be away soo long..ive actually started several new posts..but ive had trouble actually finishing them...its not like me..but maybe its the season change, or the time change, or maybe im getting lazy! lol...definitely was busy planning halloween debauchery.. Miss Hawaiian Tropic was in charge of the costumes and we ended up.... after MUCH ado.. as

Harajuku girls..(just google it)...lol AND
"Special Ops" Army Girls..lol...

You KNOW it is a good Halloween season if it requires multiple costumes... but now that that is behind me...i don't have a good excuse! lol

Miss Hawaiian Tropic gave her notice..the 10th is gonna be her last day..she is moving back down south... following a boy who is no good for her..but what are ya gonna do..you certainly cant tell anyone not to follow their heart!!!!

Have to have a party for her..
Have to get started on that...

so... what's been up you ask??

• spent a few days in the country.. getting my martha on...cleaning & cooking... i know i know... i don't cook... but every  once in a while ..usually in the fall..i get a wild hair and cook up a storm..  soo i coooked and cooked and then gave away a ton of tortellini soup, shepards pie .. lemon poppyseed cookies, orange ginger bundt cakes ..it was cathartic.. and tasted pretty damn good too..

• Saw SHORTBUS the other night..its softcore mostly gay porn.. but whatever..it was well done softcore mostly gay porn..

• I chased a firetruck outta chinatown ..i dont recommend doing this..

• did a late night tour of the city with the top down and kissed a boy in front of most of the major monuments.. i do recommend doing this..

• The Ditsy Little Tart has been  holed up with her beau..but we have plans tonight to get together and gossip & drink alll night long...

• The Girls Next Door... have been super busy the last few weeks...or maybe im just noticing the johns more....Girl Zero told me they were gonna be "closed" for halloween.. Apparently..it is the ONLY day of the year that they are closed! otherwise it is 24/7... go figure..
  

• SC wants me to go to a wedding with him..lol

• Rockstar is back on the road..wants me to come up to NYC ..soooo... i prob. will just cause  i love NYC and haven't been up there in a while.. & i like any excuse to wear false eyelashes!

planning to take the ES round the racetrack this weekend...if the weather holds..which it is soo not looking like it is going to do....soo..im completely conflicted...cause

• i really wanna race cause she has new tires and is running sooo great... but
• i really DON'T wanna race ...cause she has new tires and is running great..

damn...
xoxo
sb

How to Date a Rockstar

Rockstar played the Viper Room the other night.. and all i could think was..

"how did i get myself into this shit again?"

He was so cute in is little rockstar outfit and freshly dyed hair.. that left a purple ring in the hotel sink...and ruined multiple hotel towels... i know the maids are shaking thier heads as they try to scrub it out....his shades were in place ..and they sounded great..i was proud of them..the whole band ..not just my little rockstar..
   This is not the first rockstar ive dated..the last one... well ...he was a pseudo rockstar..more " alt country rockstar"..i thought it was going pretty good ...until i saw in (insert name of crappy magazine here) that he had married somebody else..

sooo..guess thats why i haven't heard from him.. dumb shit was pretty busy getting married etc etc...

oh well..it wasn't a big deal.. i like to think this one isn't a big deal either... but it can be hard not to get carried away when they are so cute..and they write you little songs..and they dedicate shit to you from the stage ... but....ive been down this road before... im always telling the Ditsy Little Tart...that this Rockstar thing wont work. she is always rooting for him! lol..and i am ALWAYS pushing him back..keeping him at arms length...not letting him get too close.... the irony is.... that is exactly why he likes me so much!..im the one that he cant seem to figure out... who isn't impressed with his tour bus..ive been on nicer.. i don't always show up to see the show... i don't call him, i don't text him, i don't email him, i don't care if he sleeps with groupie chix (just be safe..you don't need any baby's mamas), basically..i just don't let myself care at all.... i just try to appreciate our time together for what it is... fun ... and i never expect it to last beyond the last time we saw each other...

but by now ..well... a good deal of time has slipped past while i wasn't really paying attention.. we have been "hanging out" for a couple of years...and well...we talk at least once a week when he is on the road. which is almost always....
life on the road sux.. my whole family is in the music industry..and ive been around touring bands since.... Supertramp stayed at our house on their "breakfast in america" tour......lol (i know, i know this post is gonna date me! but i was just a teeny thing then!! )   for every great show at the viper room there are 10 bad shows in (insert bullshit town) where only 20 folks show up.. guys on tour.. well it is kinda like soldiers doing a tour of duty.. long periods of boredom, shitty accommodations, crappy food, no chicks...punctuated by brief bursts of addictive adrenaline rushes...   during the long boring times..soldiers write letters home to sweethearts..and rockstars write songs... In both cases the girls end up getting idealized ....and well...sometimes you have to read between the lines..sometimes the things they say or write aren't quite what they mean..over the years i have learned to speak a little bit of "Rockstar"

Rockstar: "I miss you soo much" 
Translation: "I'm lonely ..and your the only one i know who is still awake"

Rockstar: "I wish you had come out and gone to the show at (insert lame club name here)"-
Translation: "There was only 1 good looking chick ..and she liked (insert other band member here)"

Rockstar: "The hotel they booked us in (insert crap town here) looks like a nightmare".
Translation: "Can you use your american express points to get us a night or two @ (insert expensive hotel chain here)?"

Rockstar: "The club owner/promoter was a real dick"
Translation: "He had a hot girlfriend who was into me..but he ruined my chance to get in her pants"

Rockstar: "tonights show was great"
Translation: "the club paid us cash"

Rockstar: "There was a huge crowd"
Translation: "there were enough girls for everyone in the band to score"

Rockstar: "The tour manager is an (insert creative string of expletives)"
Translation: "another band - that is better than us- has been added to the bill"

The viper room...
it's a good room, it was a good show, i like being behind the velvet rope, but the truth is..it wont work.. and its just a little game we play...and i think i'm gonna have to get up from the table cause i like to quit while im up.. and it looks like one more hand might put the stakes up higher than i can afford to gamble.

xoxo 
sb