The Lost Boys..

johnspotting...
soo babies.. living with the girls next door i have developed some survival skills that probably would have eluded me had i not had to fend off johns for the past several years.. you know what i mean....certain traits have evolved...in order to compensate for the environment.. my gaydar is spot on (that comes from growing up near the P Street Beach).. and over the last few years my "john spotter" has evolved to about an 80% accuracy rate...

generally speaking johns are quiet and are trying to be discreet.
NOTE: most johns are far more wary of me than i am of them.. they say this is true of rats as well..but i dont believe it with the rats..lol

the species seems to be divided into several sub species
by far the easiest to spot is the "first timer" aka "the Lost Boys"
The Lost Boys are trying a little too hard to look like they know where they are going..
they are trying soooo hard to look casual.. but they are throwing off so many endorphins..that they might as well wear a Big Horny U sweatshirt
The Lost Boys will walk up and down the block at least twice..
The Lost Boys will often employ a cell phone.. and pretend to be talking to someone
The Lost Boys will stare very intently at the facade of my building..looking for a clue to "THE DOOR"
The Lost Boys will often ring my doorbell...or even walk into the building on the other side of me..

the kids in there get a kick outta The Lost Boys .... and will torture them mercilessly with stuff like:
"looking for a hummer??"
"blowjobs are two doors down dude!"
"your pretty cute we can take care of you here"

the manager in there is gay and will often throw in a few breeder slurs.. just for fun..

if i happen to be outside The Lost Boys will look kinda wistfully at me.. 
but are too afraid to ask any questions... some other common Lost Boy responses seem to include:

if i smile at him.. he will smile back.. but quickly turn his back & pretend to use cell phone again...

if i ask how he is doing... he will think im the cops and kinda try to get outta range of personal conversation..by skittering backwards several steps

if im sitting on the stoop  and say..."evening sugar pie" his eyes will light up for a split second while he processes that im not asian..

If i say.. Can i help you?? are you lost??.....he will start stuttering

this seems to be a mating call of sorts..because usually when they start stuttering.. i point to the door and one of the girls next door will step out to collect the poor little Lost Boy..and hurry him into the brothel..nodding her head and smiling at me  "good evening miss suicide blond"... they will say..even if it is morning.....

side bar:..   i like morning sex as much as the next person..but im always amazed at the number of Lost Boys who show up at like 6 am. jeezuz christ fella the bars closed three hours ago and you have to be back in govt cubicle in two hours.. so have you been wandering the streets in search of Pardise..or the girls next door.. for three hours?? or did you wake Yourself Xtra Early for a blowski??.. or more likely ...did you tell your wife you had to go in early to "BEAT TRAFFIC" is that what the kids are calling it now??

  over the years i have learned to like living with the girls next door. on several occassions ive been tempted to move for one reason or another..but ..i always end up saying to myself..where else am i gonna get a view like this?? and where else can i just sit out front or in the window for crazy entertainment.. i mean dont folks realize how fun it is to dress up like a pornstar and sit next door to a brothel??? YOU CANT PAY FOR ENTERTAINMENT LIKE THIS..lol.. i guess the real thing ive learned over the years (as we close out another one)... is to never underestimate what a horny fella will do for some cookie.. he will face his fears.. charge headlong into an office building full of gays, pace awkwardly outside for freaking ever... and pay money..oh yeah..he will even pay money for it...sigh.. boys are sooo damn silly
xoxo
sb

Comments

[Velvet]

Nope, you really can't pay for that kind of entertainment. That must be hilarious having people stumble to your door, knowing what they are really looking for. If you were into anonymous sex and making extra money, you could really clean up.

[LMNt]

Wow... it would be SO much more fun to screw with their heads. I think you should invite them in and scar them for life. THAT would be great entertainment.